Dorothy’s smartphone

 

We have recently learnt Apple is adding The Beatles to iTunes… Good for them! No matter whether Google or Amazon were after the same deal, the UK band goes to Apple.

Easy to say that Apple’s taking The Long and Winding Road… but we prefer to think it is their competition who are going to have some difficulties on the road, and it is for them that the road might be really long and winding.

However long or winding it still looks as well, in our opinion, more like the yellow brick road. And if we think yellow brick roads, we couldn’t avoid thinking of Dorothy, could we?

So here we have Dorothy starting her way on the yellow brick road trying to figure out how to succeed with her smartphone.

First she gets a call from the Scarecrow, who asks her some help to add some brains to his berry-like smartphone… Willing to learn from his experience, Dorothy asks him to join her in her quest for success in the smartphone market.

A short while after, she gets a call from the Lion with no courage. “Hey, Dorothy, need some help here… Got the muscles and the fangs, but I am really afraid of getting out there… Maybe next year if I make it for WebOS 2.0?” So Dorothy invites him as well to join her and the berryphone Scarecrow in their quest for success in the smartphone market.

Later on they find the Tin-Man lacking of heart… “Oh, what a nice android”, they say. “Come join us to look for success in the smartphone market”. The Tin-Man replied: “Indeed I need help: So many versions I have, and so many handset makers I need to support, I do not really know where my heart is, if I have any”.

And so the little group went on looking for success in the smartphone market…

“We’re off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Phones, because, because, because, because, becaaaaaaauuuuuuse… because of the magical things he does”…

And they indeed found the Wizard… in a black turtleneck and old jeans, wearing round glasses.

Up to the reader, by the way, to think who Dorothy is… (hint: sweats a lot!)

lovely classic, still, obviously, up to date!

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NO! Not the gumdrop buttons…

 

Who can’t recall the scene in the first Shrek movie when Lord Farquaad mocks the Gingerbread man?

"Run run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the ginger bread man!"

Gumdrop buttons sound clip  Shrek sound clips

Probably this is what the Google guys had in mind when they decided to name Gingerbread their new version of  Android OS to be launched pretty soon: Running and speeding, like Apple does.

After cupcakes, éclair, donuts and frozen yogurts, they really want to add some speed to the market, and catch up with the IOS4.2 as well, scheduled as well soon by the guys from Apple.

The issue here is not that much how fast Gingerbreads can run, but how speedy the handset vendors implement it in their devices. Dell’s Streak, for example is still to get latest updates on Froyo, and many others are still in earlier versions of Android.

Again, one of the apparent disadvantages of Android: Too many versions, too much fragmentation, and handset vendors who will have to squeeze their brains like crazy to avoid squeezing their margins too much when differentiating themselves…

 One of the big opponents and rivals to Android, as we have said before, seems to be the Blackberries and the MeeGos who like Farquaad, seem for the moment much more powerful, bigger and stronger than little Gingerbread Androids, though the latter is biting market share away from them like crazy.

Just having a look to a typical Blackberry or Nokia device, we are not surprised to note how obsessed these two Farquaads can be with buttons, too many of them they have. Maybe they don’t want anybody else with any button at all…

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Memento mori

 

One of the most important celebrations and rites in ancient Rome were the Triumphs. These were ceremonies granted to victorious generals after a successful campaign against an enemy of equal status to theirs. Triumphs, therefore, had no sense when a military campaign was against a slave revolt, for example.

These celebrations were structured around a big military parade which included the victorious general leading his actual troops, treasures and spoils form battle captured to enemy, and enemy leaders too, who were later to be executed in different ways. Celebrations as well included public games and shows, big banquets paid for by the triumphant general, and could eventually last several days.

It was the glory day for the general, who got all the privileges and attention form the whole city of Rome. He was the man of the day, certainly, and not even the Consuls could defy the general’s authority during the triumph.

Military was important for the Romans at that time, and several important Consuls got the job precisely after having succeeded in battle: Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus, Julius Caesar, Gaius Marius, Lucius Sulla are good examples, representatives of the top class in the most glorious times of the Roman Republic.

It is said that human beings can live about 40 days without eating, and may survive about 10 days without water, but not more than 10 minutes without some sort of flattering. Aware of this, and with the intention to limit the triumphant general’s self ambitions, custom set that the triumphant general carried behind him in his very chariot a slave who was instructed to whisper regularly in the general’s ear “Remember, sir, that you are still a mortal”…

For more than fifteen years the Microsoft Legions have mastered the IT world like old Romans did in the known world of the time. For fifteen years they have rallied the world with all types of celebrations and triumphal parades. For fifteen years the “Pax Microsoftiana” has set the foundations of the industry.

But it seems the beginning of the end f the world as Microsoft conceived it might not be far from now, and it looks like Gates, Ballmer and their General Staffs have missed the words from the slaves they should have carried in their war chariots in their triumphs, if they ever thought of carrying them.

With their empire seriously threatened, as the Roman one was by the barbarian hordes coming from the North, now they begin to realize that they should have reacted years ago. “We missed the whole cycle”, Big Ape states. Well, more than one big cycle, we’d say. Too comfortable in its own complacency, Microsoft failed to understand there was life beyond their company, and clearly intelligent one.

Still a heavy tanker, though, relying more in the cost of change that their installed base may not be able to afford than in real innovation, it won’t clearly sink fast and easy. Like the Roman Empire, it will fall at one  point in time, though still its heritage might influence their conquerors latently, as Roman culture did since its fall up to this day.

But certainly more in the road to past

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History than in the way to the future.

A matter of faith

 

We have just been aware of the first commercial delivered by Microsoft to promote its Windows Phone 7 smartphone.

Really: The new advertising campaign by MS, on behalf of its WP7 operating system for smartphones.

When we watched it, the first impression we got was that it could not be a better match for Microsoft’s image. They have taken a lot of money to produce a technically correct ad, and have compressed to many things to try to deliver a simple message.

Typical from Microsoft: Too much complication to express something simple, too many taglines to deliver a theoretical breakthrough.

The message was much simpler: In theory, WP7 will deliver a user experience that will avoid situations like the ones depicted in the commercial.

The communication: Complicated, difficult to understand, and really needs time and many replays to get the message through.

The tagline: As in every Microsoft product, 90% of it is redundant and/or useless, 5% could be useful or valid, and the remaining 5% is to pay for the campaigns that will try to justify the previous two. Take a look to any Apple commercial: Simple, concise, and to the point. See samples here, and here, and here.

Now, having said this, the next thing that pops in our minds is: If WP7 is going to be so different that it will fade away other already proven and well established alternatives, why and how is it going to make that shift in the market happen?

The communication miserably fails to achieve this. It is a matter of faith in them what this add is asking customers to make, just because it is Microsoft.

We have all seen situations like the ones describes in the add. And many of us have even starred them, we must admit. It is not, however, because of the phone itself. It’s not because of its operating system. Curiously enough, the add targets mainly Blackberries for some reason, and we’ll come back to this later. It is the contents what matters, it is about all the things we now can do or access to just by having a smartphone. And from a content perspective, and from a features point of view that Microsoft pathetically challenges the faith they are demanding from their fans, if there are any left. Too late, too featureless for a bride in a wedding, we said a few days ago.

Back to Blackberries… what is Microsoft’s fixation with these guys? No iPhones, no Symbians, no Androids. Just Blackberries. But all of them are really blocking the door to the WP7s. It could be that Steve Ballmer does not want to be like George Bernard Shaw inviting Winston Churchill to one of his grand openings once. Mr. Shaw sent two tickets to sir Winston with a note that said “I am presenting a new play, and I would be very glad to have your attendance. I am sending two tickets so you may come with a friend, should you have any.” To what sir Winton elegantly replied: “I appreciate the honor, but state matter make it impossible for me to attend,. I shall gladly attend a second performance, in case there is any.”

 

We could imagine Apple, Google or Nokia execs receiving notes from Steve Ballmer with sample units of WP7 and notes saying something like “We would appreciate your feedback and opinion about the new operating system WP7, as this is going to make people forget about their current phones. We send several units in case you would like to request a friend to help you using them, in case you have any.” To what Jobs, Elop and Eric Schmidt could easily reply: “Too busy counting revenue and profits from our smartphone divisions; impossible to care for WP7 right now, but we will gladly review version 2.0 should it ever exist.”

 

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